Parents today are very conscientious about raising their children. They take their parental responsibilities seriously. We see them juggling soccer schedules, dance classes, dental appointments and car pools. They are often harried as they struggle to maintain some type of equilibrium in their families’ lives. Is it any wonder that husbands and wives have very little time for one another?

In my role as wife, mother and Family Life Director, I have not only seen and heard similar stories but have actually lived through them. I know how overwhelming life can be especially when both parents work outside the home. All too often stories like this are frequently repeated by a distraught husband or wife facing an imminent separation or divorce. They tell me how they were always so busy with everything else that they neglected their own relationship as a wife or husband.

Frequently in post or premarital sessions with couples I’ll use the analogy of a car to that of a couple’s relationship. Most of us know, particularly our husbands, that if we want our cars to run efficiently and economically we must maintain them properly. Frequent oil changes and periodic tune-ups usually guarantee fine performance over the long haul. Our relationship as husband and wife is no different. And yet invariably, when I ask couples when was the last time they went out on a date by themselves, their answers are usually "I can’t remember when!"

Others begin making excuses, "We don’t have the money", "we don’t have the time", "we’re too busy running the kids around" or "we’re too exhausted." They took care of everything and everyone else but neglected themselves and their relationship. A person far wiser than I once said, "The best gift a father and mother can give to their children is the example of how well their parents love one another."

That is why we have put together a new series of marriage enrichment sessions. It is an acknowledgment that married couples have a right to expect the Church to provide for their spiritual and emotional needs as husband and wife.

The first session, "Making Marriage Fun" is given by Patrick Yates, and will be held Nov. 11 from 7:30- 9:30 p.m. in the St. John Neumann Pastoral Center, Piscataway. Mr. Yates has a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Seton Hall University, and is licensed in New Jersey as a professional counselor. Currently Patrick is the clinical supervisor of the diocese’s Catholic Charities. Last month, he and his wife celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary.

Patrick states, "Conflict can take all the fun out of marriage. It can erode a once loving relationship and leave couples feeling disconnected, lonely, or bitter." Using an entertaining format, this session will introduce some fundamental concepts, examine some of the latest research on this topic and inform couples about some of the leading authors in the field. Couples will leave armed with resources needed to either enrich a good relationship or revive one that is struggling.

The second session, "Imperfection, A Path to Spirituality" will be presented by Father Edward W. Edwards Dec. 4 from 7:30-9:30 p.m. in the St. John Neumann Pastoral Center.

Father Edwards is currently chaplain to the Sisters of Mercy and the newly appointed director of the Office of Ministry to Priests, Deacons and Families. He has a master’s degree in social work and is a licensed clinical social worker. In addition, Father Edwards is currently working on his doctoral degree in social work.  

Father Edwards’ talk will focus on the importance of acknowledging our imperfections, faults and failings and how that acknowledgement can unite couples. He will share ways that husbands and wives can turn their imperfections into positive traits thereby enhancing their relationship. 

Please call the Family Life Office (732) 562-1990, ext. 1624, to register for both or one of these sessions. Check the ad in this week’s Catholic Spirit for detailed registration information. More to follow….