Flame of Charity dinner aids poor, honors compassionate servants

By Charissa M. Carroll
Head Staff Writer

In one split second, Anastasios Apostolopoulos’ life was changed forever by a debilitating accident that cost him his health, his livelihood and his marriage. While he still faces struggles every day, his freedom, dignity and self-respect have been restored thanks to the efforts of Catholic Charities and Community House, one of the human services agency’s 70-plus programs.

Apostolopoulos’ poignant presentation during the 19th annual Flame of Charity dinner demonstrated just one of the many ways Catholic Charities has reached out to thousands of the diocese’s poor and underserved residents.

Since its inception, the fundraiser, held Oct. 23 in the New Brunswick Hyatt, has brought in more than $2.5 million in proceeds, which directly benefits society’s most vulnerable members.

More than 700 attendees, including Bishop Paul G. Bootkoski and Bishop Emeritus Edward T. Hughes, came out to support the work of Catholic Charities and to honor two individuals who have shown a long-standing commitment to service.

In the event program, Bishop Paul G. Bootkoski wrote, "On a daily basis there are many in our communities who endure homelessness, neglect, hunger, prejudice and abuse. Your generosity enables Catholic Charities to help thousands of individuals and families each year through direct programs and services."

Attendees had a rare opportunity to see how this generosity directly impacts the lives of others when Apostolopoulos, who is confined to a wheelchair, shared his story. Before introducing him as a "true hero," Marianne Majewski, executive director of Catholic Charities and the diocesan Department of Catholic Social Services, offered an explanation of Community House, where eight adults with severe physical disabilities, including Apostolopoulos, reside in an assisted-living environment.

Located on property formerly owned by St. Thomas the Apostle Parish, Old Bridge, the residence is one-third the cost of a nursing home and provides a much more appropriate, independent way of living for otherwise-healthy adults.

Majewski noted that Community House is the only residence of its kind in New Jersey and said she hopes the idea will be replicated in other locations.

In his talk, Apostolopoulos told of the fateful day in 1989 when he fell off the roof while working on his house, and broke his neck.

"I was 28 years old," he recalled. "I was a father, a husband. I was independent. I owned my own restaurant . . . But because of one instant, I lost my business, my house, my marriage and most of my friends."

Apostolopoulos spent the next several years in a nursing home, where he said he grew increasingly depressed and frustrated by his lack of independence and inability to provide for his daughter, who was an infant at the time of the accident.

After finding out about Catholic Charities of Metuchen from a social worker, he was placed in Community House last June.

"A miracle happened to me," Apostolopoulos said. "I became a human being again . . . I’m part of a community and we help each other. I can take my daughter to get a pizza or go to the movies. I’m in control of my life again. Community House is a blessing . . . Thank you all for giving me my freedom back."

As the diocese’s first vicar for charities and social ministry and former chairman of the board of trustees for Catholic Charities, Msgr. Richard A. Behl has made many contributions to the agency over the years. It is because of this dedication, as well as his service to many other causes that the rector of St. Francis of Assisi Cathedral Parish, Metuchen, was named Community Servant of the Year. Msgr. Behl also serves as director of the diocesan Office of Missions and director of the diocesan Commission for Pro-Life Action.

"I thank you for loving those who have been dealt difficult blows, those who have fallen between the cracks," Msgr. Behl told attendees after receiving his award. "I accept this award from all of you who have made it possible for me to feel the exuberant hugs of people who feel they’ve been forgotten."

He said he always tries to follow the advice then-Bishop Theodore E. McCarrick gave him when he was named vicar of Catholic Charities and remember to "put a human face" on the poor.

More than two decades later, "it’s a joy to see the tremendous growth in outreach that has taken place," Msgr. Behl said. "There has been a 10-fold increase in the services extended to more than 73,000 people. Are these people any less sons and daughters of God than we?"

Well-known for her active involvement in a number of Catholic organizations, best-selling suspense author Mary Higgins Clark was honored with the Humanitarian of the Year Award.

A close friend of Bishop Bootkoski, Clark explained through humorous anecdotes that she learned to be a storyteller by listening to her Irish relatives talk about various family crises and struggles and gossip about the latest news.

Addressing the many benefactors of Catholic Charities, she said, "What you’re doing now is writing happy endings. You are a family to these people – many of whom you’ll never meet. But every gift you give, every dinner like this you attend, every service you provide, you are caring for them and becoming a part of their lives."

In his closing remarks, Bishop Bootkoski asked attendees to continue to allow God’s spirit to work through them, and set them on fire to help the less fortunate.

Thanking the honorees for their charitable works, he said, "It’s so beautiful to see people recognized for their goodness, recognized for their time, talent and treasure."

The bishop urged all present to follow in Christ’s example and care for "the little ones who are forgotten."