In regard to the several letters criticizing the propriety of The Catholic Spirit in printing the letter of Ellen Chmiel regarding the seeming/apparent lack of compassion in the general reporting of the controversy about gay marriage, I would like to thank you for printing her letter.

Primarily, I do not believe it weakens the faith of any Catholic to hear the opposing view of another Catholic on a subject such as gay marriage.  There are certainly many Catholics who do agree with the official Church position, and there are some who in good conscience disagree. 

In the letter of Ruth H. Wilson she refers to gay people as having a disorder and says she has compassion for people with this "problem." Wouldn’t compassion extend to allowing a gay Catholic to be heard.  Would that not be more in keeping with Always Our Children, as issued by the American Catholic Bishops?

In many instances, we hear that Catholics (and others) hate the sin but love the sinner.  This is a concept which is very difficult to believe or understand.  As a gay Catholic who can very easily "pass" for heterosexual, I am able to hear firsthand the candid comments of my Catholic brothers and sisters.  They very often reflect neither love nor compassion in any way.

What I fear most is the effect that all of the negative writing has on gay teenagers, who have the highest suicide rate of any group of adolescents and young people.  (The cruel and often vicious remarks) they hear in school from their peers in no way reflect a Christian attitude. They also realize that competent psychiatrists and psychologists do not view them as evil or disordered or sinful, however their Church leaders assume the opposite position.  Knowing they cannot change their orientation any more than a heterosexual person can, what self-image is left for the young person?

The Catholic Church can and should espouse the views it currently believes are valid, but refusing to allow a semblance of compassion or understanding — even in the form of a letter is very unfortunate.

I, among many, thank you for having the fairness to present an opposing view from a member of the Catholic Church.

RJ Kowalik
Dunellen