Speaker helps young adults find ‘romance without regret’
By Carole Dicton
Correspondent
FLEMINGTON — “How far is too far?”
It is a question that has probably plagued Catholic youth since the beginning of time. Renowned chastity speaker Jason Evert has a fairly simple formula for helping individuals answer this question for themselves: He encourages teens and young adults to imagine their future spouses — out there somewhere right now on a date with someone else. “How far would you like that guy to go with your future wife, right now?” He asked. “Set the same standard for yourself as you would want others to set with your future spouse.”
This was just one of the practical concepts Evert shared with his audience at St. Magdalen di Pazzi Parish May 4, when he spoke about “Romance without Regret.” Sponsored by Life Choices of Phillipsburg and made possible through a grant from the Catholic Daughters of New Jersey, the evening presentation was one of several he gave during a visit to several Catholic high schools in the Garden State.
Open and honest discussion
Rev. Timothy A. Christy, Pastor of St. Magdelen di Pazzi, opened the evening with a welcome in which he expressed his thanks to God for the opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about the beautiful and wonderful gift of our sexuality. Evert asked the audience to join him in prayer before beginning his presentation.
“We’re going to do things a little differently tonight,” Evert explained as he began. “Typically I stand up here and talk. Tonight Q&A is all we’re going to do.” Evert asked the group of about 25 young adults present to write down questions on index cards, which he then collected.
After launching into his response to the first question, “Is flirting bad?”, a member of the audience pointed out that Evert’s microphone was not working. After adjusting the microphone, Evert laughed, “Sister doesn’t want to miss anything about flirting.” It was this sense of humor along with Evert’s candor that won over the audience.
“I loved it,” said one teen of Evert’s presentation. “Everything he said is just so true. And I know it, but it really helped to hear him say it.”
Real-life stories, anecdotes
Questions directed the discussion to topics including the difference between dating and courting, kissing, pornography, co-habitation without marriage, homosexuality, peer pressure and even video games that have degrading images of women. Evert responded using real-life stories and anecdotes, which, although very serious, frequently had the audience erupting in laughter. When talking about the importance of modesty in dress, Evert joked, “I’m not saying wear a muumuu to the prom. I’m saying dress in a way that tells people, ‘I’m worth waiting to see.’”
He said that young adults who choose modesty are not as alone as they may think. He referenced the “girlcott” launched by young women in Pennsylvania against retail clothing giant Abercrombie & Fitch, because of the company’s “attitude T-shirts.” The shirts carried slogans across the chest like, “Who needs brains when you have these?” and “Blondes Are Adored, Brunettes Are Ignored.”
Another key point Evert made was that no sex is safe sex. He talked about not only the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, but also the emotional consequences of getting involved in a sexual relationship outside of marriage. On the subject of condoms, Evert was emphatic about his confidence in teens to exercise self-control. “People have said to me, ‘Why not just give out condoms? They are going to do it anyway.’ I disagree. I believe every one of you has the internal strength to stay pure.”
Evert concluded the evening by asking everyone present to keep the students he speaks with in their prayers and offering all attendees free copies of his books, If You Really Loved Me: 100 Questions on Dating, Relationships, and Sexual Purity and Pure Love, along with Pure Womanhood by Evert’s wife, Crystalina. By the end of the evening, the free literature table was empty.
Joan Fasanello of Life Choices says she hopes to be able to bring Evert back for another round of speaking engagements next school year and is looking for organizations or parents who would be interested in helping sponsor his visit.
Joan Fasanello can be reached at (908) 454-2066.
*The attached/referenced article was originally published in The Catholic Spirit, the official newspaper of the Diocese of Metuchen, and is protected under U.S. and international copyright law